“We must not worship one family model. We are called to worship God alone.” (Fields, page 199)
“As I look at families around me, I see an amazing divergence from the ‘ideal.’” (page 191)
“We celebrate families with a husband and wife who love each other and their children. But we must not privilege a narrowly defined model of the Christian family, punishing all others. When we recognize the beautiful, redeemed variety of families in God’s kingdom, we are free to embrace what God is doing in our own homes.” (page 201) “Our earthly families will be formed in a variety of ways, across cultures and generations, with this one constant: we will always be imperfect.” (page 204)
Some examples of different family designs (there are many more):
1. Dad, Mom, child
2. Mom and child
3. Dad and child
4. Dad, Mom, adopted child
5. Dad, Mom, child born outside of marriage
6. Blended families
7. Large families, small families
8. Married, no children
9. Dads who are breadwinners, Moms who are breadwinners
10. Families with handicapped children, mental illness, or chronic illness
11. Extended families who live close by, extended families who live far away
Some examples of backgrounds that you as a Mom may come from, and may therefore bring a history of a different family design:
1. A broken home
2. Abusive parents
3. A very poor family, or a very wealthy family
4. An alcoholic parent
Does a non-traditional family design limit worship or service to God?
The family design itself is not the cause of limited worship and/or service to God. Thankfully, we have a Savior who looks directly at each one of us, seeing us as we are and valuing us as His own prized creation. From the moment we know Jesus, He can change everything. He enters our families and provides hope for our homes, no matter what family design is present. Our children can learn about belonging, thanksgiving, joy, trust, love, and forgiveness because of Him, not because we have a ‘perfect’ family design.
The traditional family design, (husband and wife who love each other and their children), has great potential to be a secure and positive place for children. It allows faith and love to grow without the existence of some of the “obstacles” that other, less traditional families encounter. However, non-traditional family designs can also provide unique opportunities for children to learn and grow.
Single motherhood can be a challenge for both Moms and children; however, through the single Moms’ faithfulness, many positive things can happen:
· Strong character
· Strong bonds between Mom and child
· Strong lessons
· Strong faith
“There is no way to know that Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you’ve got.” (Hutchcraft, 5 Needs your Child must have Met at Home, page 184)
A family with a handicapped child may learn:
· Compassion
· Acceptance
· Valuing others for who they are and not what they can do
· Patience
A family with many children may learn:
· Sharing
· Cooperation
· Selflessness
A Mom who has come from an abusive home may learn:
· Forgiveness
· Strength
· Healing
The lessons these families learn through their experiences often lead them to help others, and it can uniquely equip them for this task. Their worship and service to others may happen because of their different family designs. “The family is vitally important, and it is one means among others that God uses to shape His people and direct His purpose.” (page 203)
Our family designs may not be the same, but God’s promises are. These promises made by God are not because of our family design, but because He loves us: “For God so loved the world, that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16
Scriptural promises:
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call upon Me and come and pray to Me, and I will listen to you.” Jeremiah 20:11-12
God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Psalm 46:1
“Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet My unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor My covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened. Matthew 7:7-8
Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never let the righteous fall. Psalm 55:22
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
When the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away. 1 Peter 5:4
But the Lord is faithful, and He will strengthen and protect you from the evil one. 2 Thessalonians 3:3
He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart. Psalm 91:4
If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 1John 1:9
For the Lord God is a sun and shield: the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does He withhold from those whose walk is blameless. Psalm 84:11
Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Matthew 5:8
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, Who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. James 1:5
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. 2 Timothy 1:7
And not only this, but we also exult in our tribulations knowing that tribulation brings about perseverance; and perseverance, proven character; and proven character, hope; and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3-5
QUESTIONS:
1. Have I felt insecure because of my past or present family design?
2. Has my family design had an impact on my spiritual life?
3. Have I been able to see the positive side of being a part of a non-traditional family design?
4. Do I feel God’s love through His promises?
Bible Verses included in Chapter:
Chapters 27 and 45 of Genesis and Genesis 41:53—42:3
1 Corinthians 12:20 But Now there are many members, but one body.
Romans 6:1-2 What shall we say then? Are we to continue in sin that grace might increase? May it never be! How shall we who died to sin still live in it?
John 14:2 “In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if it were not so, I would have told you; for I go to prepare a place for you.
Revelation 21:3, 7 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among men, and He shall dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be among them, and He shall wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there shall no longer be any death; there shall no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
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